Santa Banta SMS
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
Sponsored Links
A MAN TO SANTA-UR FRND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME
HE RUSHES TO HIS HOME AND COME WITH IN HALF AN HOUR N SLAPPED TAT MAN N SAID-HE WAS NOT MY FRND
A MAN TO HIS FRND-MAIN APNA PURSE GHAR PE BHUL AAYA MUJHE 1000 RS KI ZARURAT HAI
BANTA-DOST HI DOST KE KAM ATTA HAI YE LE 10 RS RIKSHA KAR KE PURSE LE AA
Santa to banta. Yaar Tumhary Bewi shehar(city) ke hai ya pind(village) ki..
Banta. Pind ki.
Santa.ooh acha . main samja shayed Tumhary hai :-d
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...!
Santa was riding on a horse,
He jumped the red light & a cop whistles'
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says,
"Le Karle Number Note
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No
A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died.
SANTA went china 2 know thea meaning, that was-KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.
Titanic doob raha tha.
1 gore ne santa se pucha-dharti kitni dur hai.
Santa- 2kms.
Gore ne samnudr me jump laga k pucha-kis taraf.
Santa-NEECHE.........
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai
Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It's a gal
Sponsored Links
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Sponsored Links
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaari.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaari.
Santa (reading from book of facts):
"Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.;)
Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...
Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai
Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Gabbar: Arey o Sambha
Sambha: Ji Sardar
Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?
Sambha: Do Sardar
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.
Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai
Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao.
Sponsored Links
ek bar santa singh pagal ho jata hai, wo bar-2 kehta rehta hai ke gulel banunga chidi marunga.kuch saal pagal khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho jata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karoge ?
santa: pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karunga, phir mere ladka hoga, ek saal baad main uska janamdin manaunga, janamdin par ussey bahut sare gift milenge. gift mein ek nikker bhi hogi, main uss nikker se elastic nikalunga,gulel banaunga aur chidi marunga.
An astronomer was watching
the sky from his telescope
Santa Singh was observing him,
Suddenly a star falls,
seeing that Santa Singh shouted,
"Kya nishana lagaya hai!"
Sponsored Links
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year. Bush - Wow! How Many? Manmohan Singh - 100 25 - OBC 25 - SC 20 - ST 5 - Handicapped 5 - Sports Persons 5 - Terrorist Affected 5 - Kashmiri Migrants 9 - Politicians and if possible 1 - Astronaut.
sardar1:Tell me a word consist of 100 letters
Banta: P-O-S-T-B-O-X
American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female
Banta:how did u got a new car? Santa:A girl drove me to a beach, took her cloth & and said: take what do u want & i took car banta: good yaar kapde ki karne si.
There was a short note written on poster of adult movie.
"Under 18 are not allowed."
Santa saw this msg, what he did next time he came with 17 people along with him.
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
Sponsored Links
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
No comments:
Post a Comment