Friday 9 September 2011

adult sms




HUSBAND: if i sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind?
WIFE: That you are a HOMOSEXUAL.
 

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Judge: you want to divorce your husband for threatening you with a deadly weapon?
Wife: no ur honor i am divorcing him for threatening of every night with dead weapon.
 



What is the difference When
A Girl Wears A Mini Skirt &
A Boy Wears a Mini Skirt?

Ans:
The Girl Will Look
SE XY
&
The Boy
.
.
.
A CHURCH BELL! ;)
 



Utility of Mangalsutra?

Licence 2 enjoy Kamasutra without Con dom..

Whats the utility of a Con dom?

Licence to enjoy Kamasutra without the Mangalsutra...
 



A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after s e x?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
 



Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,
when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,
did U understand the explination or
would U like a demonstration?
 



Do you like maths,
if so add a bed,
subtract ur clothes,
divide your legs and
can we multiply?
 



Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6? long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words

Boy:dont worry its tooth brush
 



A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s bre ast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?

Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind
 



A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

“I thought It was MONEY”
 



Always start your day with a lot of… S E  X
S – SMILE
E – ENERGY
X – XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC

S E  X FUL! in LIFE.
 



2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
 


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 I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.


The word Bo  ob is d perfect description & drawing 4 wat it symbolises
U See,

B : Top View
oo: Front View
b: Side View
This is what we call drawing!
:P
 






Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
 



Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
 



A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study
 



Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
“PEPSODENT”
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday
 



What’s an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive
 



Love is a gamble,
S e x is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name
 



NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
 



Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI
 



3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant
 



In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.
 



Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir Stayfree ke ad ma cheating kyun?
 


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Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u “lastnite”

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