Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers. Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki? Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!
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Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se paisa, Paise se izzat. Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !
Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha, Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma, Bidi Piyegi ?
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
If u don’t have a gf/bf, don’t have a nice job, don’t like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don’t worry just log on to www.rabba chukk lay.com
A cute Nurse came 4 the interview. Dr: What salary U Xpect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
Which is the most confusing day in America? Thinking? Still thinking? Fathers day!
Om Namah Shinay! Jai Sri Ram! Wahe Guru! Jai Sri Krishna! Darr Mat, kisi ko forward nahin karna hai, khud hi jap le… PAAPI.
In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!
A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!? JO-hua, SO-hua
Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi Dasso hun bapu di maniye ya chache di?
There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking… Is right. Gud Day.
When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears flows from your eyes always say these words… Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain? Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to… PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!
Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra. BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!
Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho. Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.
Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don’t Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.
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There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS
Only once in your life u’ll get a right person with whom u’ll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones! Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise? Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga.
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Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant’s parents were against their marriage. Guess why? They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.
Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si. Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration! Janwaran di party chal rahi cee Chua 4 peg la ke set cee. Billi: J ajj party na hundi ta mai tenu ajj kha jandi. Chua: Ja tur ja saliye, loki kehan ge khadi piti wich janani kut diti.
I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can’t reach his ass to scratch. Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola. Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ? Wife: Behan…
He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die! Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, ‘Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta’ Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge. Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!
10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke! How 2 catch squirrels? It’s simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U… U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!
Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say… I’m MIND BLOWING.
My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd? Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.
Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu? Santa: KHULE AAM…
The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.
There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking… is right. Good Day.
Tum sab dost meri zindagi ho, aur aur aur aur aur Lahnat hai aisi zindagi pe!
True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!
Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple’s photo man is on the right side & woman on the left? Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!
Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money? Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that’s exactly what he asked me about you!
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Some translations in Punjabi: Yo baby! Wassup? Ve kaka, a uttey ki tangeya va? Listen buddy, dat chick is mine! O bhaoo, o nikki kukree meri aa ! R u nuts? Tu akhrot an oye? Rock the party. VATTEY mar jashan ch. Lets hangout! Aja bahar lamkiye.
I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.
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Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes? A: Those who don’t have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business? Student: Father-in-Law!
Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!
What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.
Advice of dentist. “Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don’t let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai. Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai? Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai. Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali. Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
What building has the most stories? The Library.
A teenage boy to his father: Here’s my report card and a list I’ve compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.
Asmaan mai tum ho, samundar mai tum ho, zamin pe tum, hawa mai tum, jahan b dekho tum hi tum ho. DOMEX wali aunty thik kehti thi KITANU har jagah hote hain.
Girl announced her engagement to her father. Father: Does this fellow has any money? Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!
Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!
If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
Education is incomplete without 5 B’s B – Bikes B – Beers B – Babes B – Bunks and the most important B – Backlogs!
Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait? He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say ‘Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait’.
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Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?
Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? “Of course, why would Friday be an exception?”
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A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby’s father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!
At a party, someone yelled: All married guys plz stand next to one person who has made ur life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.
Suraj ki pahli kiran aapko Khusi de… Dusri kiran hasi de… Teesri tandurasti… Chouthi kamyabi… Bas ab aur nahi garmi lagegi. Good Day.
Ek Gujju ka sapne mein kisi ne rape kar diya di. Next day Gujju ne apna Bank acccount band karwa diya kyon ki Bank mein likha tha: Hum aap k Sapno ko Haqeeqat mein badal denge.
Amitabh: Mere pas Gaadi he, Banglaw hai, Bank Balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai? Shashi: Mere paas bhi Gaadi hai, Bunglaw hai, Bank Balance hai… Silence for few Minutes… Amitabh: Abey to phir Maa kahana hai?
Q: What time is it when most people go to the dentist? A: Tooth-Hurty!
Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega. Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !
Baap: Beta maine tere liye ek ladki dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati, Gunvati, or Sarasvati hai. Beta: Lekin papa mein kisi or se pyar karta hoon or vo.. Garbhvati hai.
Gandhigiri ki safalta ke baad, pesh hai. Messagegiri jisme aap msg kare ya na kare, ham msg bhejte rahenge, kabhi to aapko sharm aayegi. Gud Day!
Height of Marwari Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano Car…….preferably with Gas Kit!!!
Hasi ke liye gam kurban, khushi ke liye aansoo kurban, dost ke liye jan bhi kurban, agar dost ki girlfreind mil jaye to saala dost bhi kurban.
Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ? Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !
Doctor, cut off my dog’s tail. Vet: Why do u want to do that? Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcomed.
Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons… Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!
Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin? Man: I’m goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking. Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnite? Man: My wife…
Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai? Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai…
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Valentine special: Dunyia wich reh k rangaa wich kho jao.. Kise nu apna bana lao ya kise da ho jao.. Je kuchh vi ni hunda taan….Chakko Rajaai te so jao.
Why are Egyptian Children always confused? Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
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Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain? Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You’re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmatma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
When somebody who’s deeply in love with you tells you that you’re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That’s true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It’s not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I’m just wondering where’s yours?
Wife: I Have Changed My Mind. Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain? Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
Why are Egyptian Children always confused? Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
Everything about you is perfect – your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You’re lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
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Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
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